This has been a week for big changes, some more welcome than others. My family is at a definite crossroads right now...
1. Last Thursday, J.J. lost his job. J.J. liked his job very much and would have been happy to stay there for a long time to come, but what's done is done. I'm not going to dwell on the reasons why. I'm choosing not to be negative. R.W. Armstrong was wonderful to us when J.J. had his stroke, and I can see why y'all were voted the 6th best employer in the city. J.J. has nearly five years of terrific memories and only one day of bad ones, so I think that's something to be commended.
After processing this news, we sat down to have a long discussion. J.J. has felt for some time that he would be more productive in a different career, and obviously with his aphasia and some of his cognitive issues (particularly his problems with math and typing numbers), there are some careers that aren't options for him. He's decided that he wants to study to become a chef, specifically a pastry chef.
If we hadn't been so focused on trying to get back to "normal" after the stroke, J.J. could have transitioned to long-term disability to allow him time to retrain. Voc. Rehab would have paid for his schooling, and he'd already be almost halfway through his program. Unfortunately we didn't pick that path. Now, J.J. will be receiving unemployment and yesterday, we applied for Social Security disability. He's trying to get registered in time to start school this summer. Things are very up in the air.
When J.J. first told me that he was let go, I was devastated, both on his behalf and on behalf of our family. Last night was the first night I've slept all the way through the night since last week. But I think I can finally let it go. We've had struggles before, and times when I thought I couldn't possibly bear all the burdens I'd been given, and times when I thought I'd never have an excuse to smile again. And they always pass, and we have good times again. This is another one of life's learning experiences. And this too shall pass.
2. In a little over a month, J.J. and I will have the place to ourselves for over two months. My parents had already asked if they could keep Eli this summer. When we looked over our budget and realized that we could save over $500 monthly if we asked them to keep Leah too, we did so. They accepted. I'm going to miss them terribly, but I'm so glad that my kids will have the opportunity to spend so much time with their grandparents. They will have so much fun. And J.J. and I could really use some time to reconnect. We've never had the luxury of slowing down to process all that's happened in the last year and a half. Now we'll get that chance.
3. Soon I will be discontinuing this blog. Don't worry, you haven't heard the last of me. I've accepted an offer to become a paid blogger for Examiner.com. My site will become a hub of stroke information for Indianapolis area residents, and you'll still be able to follow our story too. I'll be compensated based on the number of page views I receive, so I'll be counting on all of you to make the leap with me. As soon as my page is built, you'll be the first to know.
That's it. As if that isn't enough.
If you pray, please pray for wisdom for us. Having all these possibilities open is exciting but kind of scary as well. I hope we make the right decisions.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Knee Update
So yesterday was my consult with the knee surgeon. The result? I don't have to have knee surgery after all! He said that what the MRI was showing as a tear is just a general "roughing up" of the surface of my meniscus under the kneecap. He said that there's not much he could do surgically about that and that he thinks my current symptoms are coming from some slight arthritis I have that I just got flared up by carrying Leah around. He gave me a cortisone injection and my knee now feels amazing! I do have the cortisone side effects to deal with (for me, these are a migraine-like headache, nausea, sleeplessness and a low-grade fever) but these should be gone tomorrow. It was totally worth it.
By the way, is there a law that all sports medicine/orthopedics doctors must be drop-dead gorgeous? I've never seen a homely, plain or ugly one. Very interesting.
And just to make this more of a stroke post--the sports medicine clinic is actually inside Hendricks Regional Hospital's main entrance. I haven't walked through those doors since J.J. was in the ICU. I actually teared up a little as I parked my car.
By the way, is there a law that all sports medicine/orthopedics doctors must be drop-dead gorgeous? I've never seen a homely, plain or ugly one. Very interesting.
And just to make this more of a stroke post--the sports medicine clinic is actually inside Hendricks Regional Hospital's main entrance. I haven't walked through those doors since J.J. was in the ICU. I actually teared up a little as I parked my car.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Movement
I had never had an MRI before yesterday morning, so I didn't really know what to expect. Shortly after I was stripped of all metal and laid down onto the board, my legs were strapped into an oddly contorted position. I was told the scan would take about 45 minutes and that it was imperative for me to remain as still as possible.
I had no idea how much I move around in the normal course of a 45 minute period until I couldn't. Not only was I completely antsy, I kept feeling phantom itches that I wanted to scratch, my lower back hurt from remaining totally still, and toward the end I even started getting muscle twitches in my legs. I have never wanted to shake all over like a dog so badly as I did when the scan was finally, finally over.
I had never considered how it must have felt for J.J. during the four days he was in the ICU, when he was left to lie on his back, not able to move his lower body much on his own. I remember him grimacing in pain and indicating that his back hurt. I think it must have been a magnification of what I felt after just 45 minutes. I can't imagine how terrible that was for him. I can't imagine how awful it is for all the stroke survivors out there who are still unable to move their lower bodies months or years after their strokes.
But I'm determined not to take movement for granted anymore. How wonderful are our bodies that all of our bones, tendons, ligaments and muscles can cooperate to allow us to perform such a wide array of tasks with such precision! Just the movements I am engaging in right now (typing, pausing to scratch my arm, frowning as I search for the right word, twisting slightly in my desk chair) are incredibly complex and a total gift.
As I consciously move my body, I'll give thanks for the ability and will move for all those who cannot.
I had no idea how much I move around in the normal course of a 45 minute period until I couldn't. Not only was I completely antsy, I kept feeling phantom itches that I wanted to scratch, my lower back hurt from remaining totally still, and toward the end I even started getting muscle twitches in my legs. I have never wanted to shake all over like a dog so badly as I did when the scan was finally, finally over.
I had never considered how it must have felt for J.J. during the four days he was in the ICU, when he was left to lie on his back, not able to move his lower body much on his own. I remember him grimacing in pain and indicating that his back hurt. I think it must have been a magnification of what I felt after just 45 minutes. I can't imagine how terrible that was for him. I can't imagine how awful it is for all the stroke survivors out there who are still unable to move their lower bodies months or years after their strokes.
But I'm determined not to take movement for granted anymore. How wonderful are our bodies that all of our bones, tendons, ligaments and muscles can cooperate to allow us to perform such a wide array of tasks with such precision! Just the movements I am engaging in right now (typing, pausing to scratch my arm, frowning as I search for the right word, twisting slightly in my desk chair) are incredibly complex and a total gift.
As I consciously move my body, I'll give thanks for the ability and will move for all those who cannot.
An Update (Mostly About ME!!!)
Okay, so since the drama seems to have attached itself to me this week, y'all get to hear about it. You lucky, lucky people.
1. On Tuesday I finally went to see the doctor about my still-sore knee. Just from the exam she diagnosed a meniscus tear. The question was how bad, so she ordered an MRI to see if it could be treated with physical therapy or if it would require surgery. She also prescribed some anti-inflammatories.
2. By Wednesday (2 doses of anti-inflammatories later), my knee felt amazing. Still does, actually. MRI scheduled for Friday.
3. Yesterday morning I had my MRI. Finished at 11:00 with instructions that I should know something on Tuesday.
4. At 1:00, I got a call that my meniscus is very, very torn and got a stat referral to see a surgeon on Tuesday.
It's been something of a week.
1. On Tuesday I finally went to see the doctor about my still-sore knee. Just from the exam she diagnosed a meniscus tear. The question was how bad, so she ordered an MRI to see if it could be treated with physical therapy or if it would require surgery. She also prescribed some anti-inflammatories.
2. By Wednesday (2 doses of anti-inflammatories later), my knee felt amazing. Still does, actually. MRI scheduled for Friday.
3. Yesterday morning I had my MRI. Finished at 11:00 with instructions that I should know something on Tuesday.
4. At 1:00, I got a call that my meniscus is very, very torn and got a stat referral to see a surgeon on Tuesday.
It's been something of a week.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Not Much New
I've been trying to put off posting until I had something to say. There's just not much happening around here right now, folks. The most excitement we've had over the couple of weeks is that Leah broke the fourth toe on her right foot last Sunday night. It's displaced, which was our ticket to an orthopedist (strangely, in the same practice as the one who did J.J.'s meniscus repair last May, so we already knew how to find the office!). Since toes aren't as much of a functional issue as fingers and since the toe is not grossly displaced (it's broken about halfway done and the tip does have a noticeable slant), we opted not to do surgery to pin the break. If Leah's biggest problem is a slightly crooked fourth toe on her right foot, we're obviously blessed.
Anyway, she ended up in a surgical shoe and went down to stay with my parents, since between my mom's job as a professor (if she works 25 hours per week outside of home, it's a busy week!) and my dad owning his own business, it was much more practical to keep her out of day care down there while she convalesced. She's doing great now, and should be out of the surgical shoe a week from tomorrow.
J.J. hasn't had speech therapy for a while. There seems to be a shortage of speech therapists in this area, which is both good and bad. Good because in four years I hope to be one. Bad because we need one now! I think we'll start looking for another practice that accepts our insurance ASAP.
Eli's great, he's been on Spring Break this week and is ready to go back to school. In the meantime, he's sold 292 geraniums for 4-H this year! I may need to rent a flatbed truck to pick them all up, but I'm proud of him.
I'm doing well too. I managed to win the pedometer challenge in my office that was held as part of our wellness program. In 10 days, I walked almost 113,000 steps and won an iPod Shuffle for my efforts. This is a lot of steps, for anyone who's wondering. I did an hour to 90 minutes on the treadmill almost every day during this timeframe. Then Leah broke her toe, and I carried her around a lot for the first two days. My right knee is still sulking over these developments!
I'll be back next week (if not sooner), hopefully with something more interesting to share!
Anyway, she ended up in a surgical shoe and went down to stay with my parents, since between my mom's job as a professor (if she works 25 hours per week outside of home, it's a busy week!) and my dad owning his own business, it was much more practical to keep her out of day care down there while she convalesced. She's doing great now, and should be out of the surgical shoe a week from tomorrow.
J.J. hasn't had speech therapy for a while. There seems to be a shortage of speech therapists in this area, which is both good and bad. Good because in four years I hope to be one. Bad because we need one now! I think we'll start looking for another practice that accepts our insurance ASAP.
Eli's great, he's been on Spring Break this week and is ready to go back to school. In the meantime, he's sold 292 geraniums for 4-H this year! I may need to rent a flatbed truck to pick them all up, but I'm proud of him.
I'm doing well too. I managed to win the pedometer challenge in my office that was held as part of our wellness program. In 10 days, I walked almost 113,000 steps and won an iPod Shuffle for my efforts. This is a lot of steps, for anyone who's wondering. I did an hour to 90 minutes on the treadmill almost every day during this timeframe. Then Leah broke her toe, and I carried her around a lot for the first two days. My right knee is still sulking over these developments!
I'll be back next week (if not sooner), hopefully with something more interesting to share!
Easter 2010
Took these in the park in Sullivan where we went to play on the playground, still in dress clothes. What kind of mom lets her kids play on the playground in their Easter best? THIS mom!
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