Well, I'm doing better at posting, right? Like I said before, not much is changing day to day now, so it's harder to find things of interest to discuss.
Stroke News:
As J.J. is communicating more, we're noticing that he is still experiencing some memory issues. This is not unusual from what I've been told, and normally persists for 12-24 months post-stroke. But it is annoying, when J.J. swears up and down that he's told me something that I KNOW I would remember (most recently, that he had to pay an exorbitant amount of money to repair his car). I've been talking with another stroke wife on Stroke Network who has recommended that J.J. ask his neurologist about a drug that her husband is on to help with this issue. He has an appointment a week from Thursday.
We've also heard back from the new speech therapist, and J.J. will be starting therapy a week from Tuesday.
Family News:
Eli's school science fair was today. Eli's experiment involving determining the most effective storage method for fresh strawberries, and has resulted in me pulling a moldy box of strawberries out of the refrigerator on more than one occasion recently (they got to make their departure in this morning's trash pickup, thank goodness!). He received a second place medal for his work.
Additionally, Eli will be starting gymnastics on Thursday. He's so excited. Last night when he signed up he came home wearing a shirt with the name of the gym on it, and he slept in it last night. I hope he has a good experience with it.
Leah's swimming lessons started this week. At 5 years old, the biggest criticism her teacher could give me was that her backstroke needs work. Seriously. I'm 31, and I never got the hang of that one either, so I'm not too worried! Anyway, she loves her lessons and I love the fact that she's getting great exercise from them.
Other News:
I found a distance-education program for Speech-Language Pathology that will get me through in three years, as opposed to five with the original program I was considering. But they only start students once a year, in the summer. I really don't see how I'm going to be ready to commit to a program in the middle of everything else that's going on, so I've made the decision to spend this year straightening the rest of my life out. I'll hopefully start the program next summer. In the meantime, I'll continue working on prereqs, so I'll have plenty to keep me busy. I'm taking an Ethics class and Intro to Microcomputers right now (since my class in this subject was in 1997, and since my coursework will all be online, this one is a requirement) and they are both interesting.
That's all I've got tonight, folks. See you next week!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Easter Prayer
So on Wednesday night as we were coming home from swimming lessons, Leah was playing with her Leapster. She has found a section that gives a preview of all of the games that have been released for the Leapster so far, and she often asks for new games, particularly the Spongebob Squarepants game.
Leah: "Mommy, will you buy me the Spongebob game?"
Me: "Not right now sweetie, but Easter is coming up. Maybe the Easter Bunny will bring it."
Leah: "Yeah!" (Bows head, clasps hands) "Dear Jesus, please let the Easter Bunny bring me a Spongebob game. Please be with him to help him pick out the right game in the store. In Your name we pray...oh yeah, and thanks for Mommy, Daddy and Eli. Okay. Amen."
Of course she's going to get the game for Easter. It's actually in the closet right now. But it's good to know we'll have Jesus on our side if we have any trouble in the gift department. And I'm totally charmed by being a clear afterthought in this prayer.
This moment brought to you courtesy of five years of Baptist preschool.
Leah: "Mommy, will you buy me the Spongebob game?"
Me: "Not right now sweetie, but Easter is coming up. Maybe the Easter Bunny will bring it."
Leah: "Yeah!" (Bows head, clasps hands) "Dear Jesus, please let the Easter Bunny bring me a Spongebob game. Please be with him to help him pick out the right game in the store. In Your name we pray...oh yeah, and thanks for Mommy, Daddy and Eli. Okay. Amen."
Of course she's going to get the game for Easter. It's actually in the closet right now. But it's good to know we'll have Jesus on our side if we have any trouble in the gift department. And I'm totally charmed by being a clear afterthought in this prayer.
This moment brought to you courtesy of five years of Baptist preschool.
Friday, February 19, 2010
As promised...
So now we are a year and four days away from the day that was simultaneously the worst and the best day of our lives.
I can picture the puzzled looks as all of you reread that previous sentence. Please allow me to explain...obviously, it was a horrific experience that I've complained about far too often here. But J.J.'s congestive heart failure was finally diagnosed the day after his stroke, and that stopped an even worse horrific experience from coming about.
Some of you know that in the three weeks or so before his stroke, J.J. felt very ill. His entire GI system was so inflamed that he was on a liquid diet from January 29 until February 14 (when he finally was so hungry that he ate a sandwich). He had been to our family doctor several times and had been referred to a cardiologist due to a possible arrhythmia. The cardiologist diagnosed J.J. as having slight hypertension and sent him home with some medication. The pain didn't improve. In fact, the entire week before his stroke I was griping at J.J. to go back to our family doctor. He had scheduled an appointment for the following Tuesday. February 17.
He didn't make it to that appointment.
But now we know why J.J. was so sick in the days leading up to his stroke.
He was dying. His body was shutting down because his heart was no longer strong enough to supply all of his organs with blood flow. And we had no idea.
THANK GOD HE HAD THAT STROKE.
Not to sound alarmist, but J.J.'s stroke probably saved him from a massive heart attack. The hole J.J. will carry in the white matter of his brain for the rest of his life was the ticket off the hearse.
As much as I sometimes miss J.J.'s sense of humor and pointed quips and rambling conversations, I would miss his hugs and his smiles and his laughter and his presence even more.
These are just some of the thoughts that have raced through my mind in the last couple of weeks as we've counted down to strokeiversary. On the way, we marked the anniversary of the appointment with our family doctor that marked the start of the stroke experience (at least in my head), the anniversary of the heavy snowfall where J.J. spent two hours clearing a ten-foot strip of our driveway before collapsing in exhaustion, the anniversary of the last date night we had pre-stroke, etc. Valentine's Day was difficult, as that was the last full day of our old lives. And as hard as it was to remember all of the milestones leading up to this day, I expected Monday to be a wild tissue-laden sorrow bacchanal.
But it wasn't. It started off a little differently than planned, as I had intended to take the kids to day care for a little while so J.J. and I could have a nice lunch out and see a movie, but we awoke to a significantly heavier snowfall than was expected and decided we didn't want to go out in it. So we spent a peaceful day as a family, and it felt like the perfect celebration. Particularly when J.J. went outside and shoveled the entire driveway in 20 minutes.
I doubt I'll ever let February 15 get by without notice ever again. I hope they all resemble 2010's February 15 much more than 2009's version.
As much as this stroke was a blessing, there is such a thing as too much of something good.
I can picture the puzzled looks as all of you reread that previous sentence. Please allow me to explain...obviously, it was a horrific experience that I've complained about far too often here. But J.J.'s congestive heart failure was finally diagnosed the day after his stroke, and that stopped an even worse horrific experience from coming about.
Some of you know that in the three weeks or so before his stroke, J.J. felt very ill. His entire GI system was so inflamed that he was on a liquid diet from January 29 until February 14 (when he finally was so hungry that he ate a sandwich). He had been to our family doctor several times and had been referred to a cardiologist due to a possible arrhythmia. The cardiologist diagnosed J.J. as having slight hypertension and sent him home with some medication. The pain didn't improve. In fact, the entire week before his stroke I was griping at J.J. to go back to our family doctor. He had scheduled an appointment for the following Tuesday. February 17.
He didn't make it to that appointment.
But now we know why J.J. was so sick in the days leading up to his stroke.
He was dying. His body was shutting down because his heart was no longer strong enough to supply all of his organs with blood flow. And we had no idea.
THANK GOD HE HAD THAT STROKE.
Not to sound alarmist, but J.J.'s stroke probably saved him from a massive heart attack. The hole J.J. will carry in the white matter of his brain for the rest of his life was the ticket off the hearse.
As much as I sometimes miss J.J.'s sense of humor and pointed quips and rambling conversations, I would miss his hugs and his smiles and his laughter and his presence even more.
These are just some of the thoughts that have raced through my mind in the last couple of weeks as we've counted down to strokeiversary. On the way, we marked the anniversary of the appointment with our family doctor that marked the start of the stroke experience (at least in my head), the anniversary of the heavy snowfall where J.J. spent two hours clearing a ten-foot strip of our driveway before collapsing in exhaustion, the anniversary of the last date night we had pre-stroke, etc. Valentine's Day was difficult, as that was the last full day of our old lives. And as hard as it was to remember all of the milestones leading up to this day, I expected Monday to be a wild tissue-laden sorrow bacchanal.
But it wasn't. It started off a little differently than planned, as I had intended to take the kids to day care for a little while so J.J. and I could have a nice lunch out and see a movie, but we awoke to a significantly heavier snowfall than was expected and decided we didn't want to go out in it. So we spent a peaceful day as a family, and it felt like the perfect celebration. Particularly when J.J. went outside and shoveled the entire driveway in 20 minutes.
I doubt I'll ever let February 15 get by without notice ever again. I hope they all resemble 2010's February 15 much more than 2009's version.
As much as this stroke was a blessing, there is such a thing as too much of something good.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Voicemail
It always jars me when I call J.J.'s work number and get his voicemail. You see, the whole six months he was out, they left his voicemail greeting alone. Since J.J. never recorded a personal greeting on his cell phone voicemail, it's one of the last recordings we have of how he sounded pre-stroke.
His voice sounds so loud on that recording, so forceful. He sounds like he's spitting the words out in a huge hurry, like taking the time to set up his voicemail is a bother. (He also makes one of my least favorite voicemail gaffs..."You've reached J.J. Robertson's desk," it says. Leading me to congratulate J.J. on having such a smart desk...I wish my desk would take messages!)
He sounds nothing at all like the J.J. I know now. My J.J. is a soft-spoken man whose words are carefully selected and uttered with complete focus and concentration. He may not say as much anymore, but you know everything he says is special. It takes too much effort for him to engage in idle chatter. And when he forgets a word, he smiles and shrugs so sweetly. He's not upset by the word that got away, he's just thrilled about all the ones he managed to find.
He's different. Life's different. And it's good; maybe even better than pre-stroke, because we remember to live it now.
Once again tonight, I'm not going to get the post written about the big one year anniversary. I'm tired tonight and I want to get to bed before too long. Tomorrow will be a big day, though. Look for explanation tomorrow evening.
His voice sounds so loud on that recording, so forceful. He sounds like he's spitting the words out in a huge hurry, like taking the time to set up his voicemail is a bother. (He also makes one of my least favorite voicemail gaffs..."You've reached J.J. Robertson's desk," it says. Leading me to congratulate J.J. on having such a smart desk...I wish my desk would take messages!)
He sounds nothing at all like the J.J. I know now. My J.J. is a soft-spoken man whose words are carefully selected and uttered with complete focus and concentration. He may not say as much anymore, but you know everything he says is special. It takes too much effort for him to engage in idle chatter. And when he forgets a word, he smiles and shrugs so sweetly. He's not upset by the word that got away, he's just thrilled about all the ones he managed to find.
He's different. Life's different. And it's good; maybe even better than pre-stroke, because we remember to live it now.
Once again tonight, I'm not going to get the post written about the big one year anniversary. I'm tired tonight and I want to get to bed before too long. Tomorrow will be a big day, though. Look for explanation tomorrow evening.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Strokeiversary
One year ago in 45 minutes, our lives changed. Normal has become a thing of the past; but who is happy settling for merely normal anyway? I don't have the time tonight to discuss all the things I've learned over the last year, or all the thoughts I've had going through my head in the last week or so as we've counted down to this day. Luckily it's been very low-key and even I (big crier that I am) haven't cried once. But there's plenty of time for me to describe all of this to you. There's not as much time for me to curl up in bed with my husband to reminisce about the significance of this first anniversary of the day J.J. received his second chance at life.
Look for a longer post tomorrow. In the meantime, be well.
Look for a longer post tomorrow. In the meantime, be well.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Super Bowl Sunday
Like a large portion of the rest of the nation, we've got a pot of chili on the stove and the big screen TV on. Unlike most of the rest of the nation, we aren't watching anything remotely resembling the Super Bowl (although we did watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet for a little while earlier). We are not a big sports family. J.J. and I don't care at all, Eli is an ardent Bears fan and Leah only likes the Colts because, "they go for Indianapolis."
I'm procrastinating because I've got a tremendous amount of work left to do tonight; I have to finish this week's homework, create a zip file of the last photo shoot I did and start editing pictures from the wedding I shot on Friday night. Yes, that's right...during the biggest snowfall of the season thus far, I was up in Anderson shooting my first wedding. After an overnight stay in a hotel, blatant disregard of a Level 1 Travel Advisory and a harrowing drive that took much of yesterday to complete, this weekend has been a blur.
This week, I'm not sure that anything all that significant has happened. We're still waiting for the speech therapist to call with the results of J.J.'s assessment and to schedule his first session of the new year, but we weren't expecting to hear anything until around the 10th anyway. We've all been sick at some point this week (well, scratch that--Leah's been fine. She's usually the wellest one in the family) but we're all feeling better now. And this is the last weekend before the "My husband has been a stroke survivor for one whole year!" festivities that take place next weekend.
So, I'm not going to hold you up today. I'm sure you have better things to do than read this boring update. So...go Colts (because if they win, our office will be closed until 10:00 a.m. tomorrow!)
I'm procrastinating because I've got a tremendous amount of work left to do tonight; I have to finish this week's homework, create a zip file of the last photo shoot I did and start editing pictures from the wedding I shot on Friday night. Yes, that's right...during the biggest snowfall of the season thus far, I was up in Anderson shooting my first wedding. After an overnight stay in a hotel, blatant disregard of a Level 1 Travel Advisory and a harrowing drive that took much of yesterday to complete, this weekend has been a blur.
This week, I'm not sure that anything all that significant has happened. We're still waiting for the speech therapist to call with the results of J.J.'s assessment and to schedule his first session of the new year, but we weren't expecting to hear anything until around the 10th anyway. We've all been sick at some point this week (well, scratch that--Leah's been fine. She's usually the wellest one in the family) but we're all feeling better now. And this is the last weekend before the "My husband has been a stroke survivor for one whole year!" festivities that take place next weekend.
So, I'm not going to hold you up today. I'm sure you have better things to do than read this boring update. So...go Colts (because if they win, our office will be closed until 10:00 a.m. tomorrow!)
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