Guess who the two newest writers for the Stroke Network newsletter are?

(I'm pretty sure you know, right?)

Here's our audition piece. Parts of it I stole from one of my blog entries a while ago, but lots of it is new. And it's the first real Team Erin AND J.J. entry to this blog...

Nearly 13 years ago, I met a man unlike any other I had ever known. Possessed of a sarcastic wit that almost matched my own, J.J. and I talked for over 10 hours on our first date. Since ours was a long-distance romance at first, we spoke on the phone for hours each night. I never grew tired of learning more about this man. I loved how deep, philosophical and wide-ranging those conversations were. When I married him, I looked forward to years filled with discussions, banter, debate and repartee. And for the better part of a decade after our wedding, that’s what we experienced.

We had a wonderful life. It wasn’t storybook, but it was ours and it was perfect for us.

On February 15, 2009, our lives changed in an instant when J.J. suffered a single ischemic left MCA stroke. When I arrived at the hospital that night, J.J. was paralyzed on the right side of his body. He also was completely silent, something that had happened on only a handful of occasions before.

After a week in the hospital, another week at a rehabilitation hospital and months of therapy, J.J. has very few physical challenges following his stroke. Those long-winded diatribes, however, are no more. J.J. still suffers from aphasia.

At first, this was devastating to me. I fell in love with this man for his brain. I knew he was still in there, but if he couldn’t communicate with me, how could I continue to be his wife out of more than just duty? How could I love this shell of the man I had loved so passionately?

From where I am, over seven months later, I can tell you that I now love this man even more than I did before the stroke. This one. I don't mean the one I fell in love with, the one I kissed at the altar on our wedding day, the one whose arms were the first to hold our son, the one I've woken up next to every morning for so many years I'm completely broken of the habit of trying to sleep in the middle of the bed. Although I love him as well.

I mean the man who lost most of his ability to produce language but who never forgot how to tell me he loved me. The man who has started eating salad regularly to make sure he never has this problem again. The man who spends hours a day trying to read even though it's so hard for him it's no longer enjoyable. The man who does whatever he can to make my day easier in whatever way he can. The man who still cuddles his children every night before bed. The man who attempts to look over our son's homework even though he most often has to hand it over to me to check. The man who never stops trying, never stops believing, and never gives up.

The J.J. I knew is gone forever, since whatever his recovery looks like, this experience will have changed him. But it's changed me too. And this new Erin is ready to love the new J.J. completely. Whoever he is, I know some things won't change. That gentle soul is still the soul of my best friend.

There’s so much there for me to love.

**********

I love my wife. I loved her in the instant I met her, and I love her more everyday. I love her with all my soul and body. I can’t imagine my life without her. Nor would I ever want to.

I had my stroke 7 months ago. It’s not that long ago, but many days it seems like it’s been forever.

I always knew that my wife was strong. I’ve watched her do some pretty amazing things, like finishing the coursework for her Masters degree while she was working full-time, caring for our then three year old son and pregnant with our daughter. But I never guessed how much strength she had. After my stroke, I had to watch her keep the kids going, and her job, and everything else we used to do. Each morning she would get the kids off to school and she would work for five hours in her office. She’d leave work in time to join me at the hospital for lunch, then she would observe my therapy sessions until it was time to get the kids again. She kept them in all their activities, swim lessons, guitar lessons, taekwondo classes. And she brought them to visit me everyday. After the kids were in bed, the house was clean and the laundry was done, she worked from home for another three hours each night. She didn’t sleep much, but she got it done. And she never complained.

For the first month and a half I was home, she still had to keep everything going. I had trouble walking still. I could make dinner, but the stairs were a problem. I couldn’t get the kids baths, or drive. So I was home, but all that meant was that it was easier to see me.

God only knows why she still loves me. I don’t know why.

What I do know is that she is the best in the world. She’s a great Mother, Wife, Sister, and Daughter. She’s good at her job, and she wants to learn a completely new job, which is Speech Therapy. I know she’ll excel at this too.

For nearly 13 years now, I’ve known her. She is an amazing woman who can do anything she wants. For nearly 13 years now, I’ve loved her for that. This stroke has only provided me with more reasons to love her.