From J.J.

I know all of you must be wondering exactly how bad J.J.'s writing is, since I make reference to it frequently. The answer? Not awful. But definitely the most impacted area of his communication. Here's the rough draft he sent me for our Stroke Network column. I haven't made any changes at all to this...

My Aphasia isn't the worst it could be. As far as I'm concerned, it isn't really a problem, anymore. It's something that I'll beat. Someday. Maybe in a year, or 3 years, or however long it will take. Since my stroke, I've relearned to read, and I've gotten most of my speech back.

I've been doing this for more than 10 months. I've done it because I needed to. I love my wife, and she loves me. She loved me because of my mind. I said, and I wrote, what ever I thought was worth saying.

I never would have been able to tell her I loved her again if I hadn't decided to get better, and start healing my brain. I had the ability to tell her I loved her back before I left the hospital. It was really all I could tell her then, but I wasn't going to stop. We used to talk alot. About little things, big things, weather, politics, strange things, and things no one would really care about.

Now, for the most part, we can do that. I can tell her whatever I want to.

Yesterday was the best day I've had since the stroke. We talked about what it was like when we were kids, and what it was like for our parents to be kids. We talked about how our kids will be in the future. We talked about the stroke. Things that I couldn't remember while I was in the hospital. Then we just talked. Nothing really. It was great.

I had to have more than 8 hours of sleep before we could talk like that. She couldn't hear the problems I have speaking anymore. And for the most part, there weren't any. A few times I might have had to think about a word to say it, but only a few seconds.

It's amazing how far I've come in this time. It's been only a little bit of time, but it seems like it was an eternity since before the stroke. I can't rememebr the last time I didn't have to tell someone I had a stroke before talking to them on a telephone.

It's interesting to me that a lot of businesses have discovered that they need to have their people be ready for stroke survivors when they are talking to people. I've been to places where I tried to not tell them I had a stroke and they thought I was simple, and then i tell them I had a stroke, and everything is different with them. As soon as they are told they are talking to a stroke survivor, they immediately say they understand and they will wait as long as they have to while I speak, and they won't speak until I am done.

I tried not to tell people about my stroke while I was talking to people in beginning. Now, I tell people before I start talking to them. I don't think I'm going to do that anymore. I'm going to see if I can deal with them without them knowing. I want to know if they think I'm simple, or if they don't see a problem. Maybe they'll never notice. I hope so.